Let's Bitch

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking…and people on death row have it pretty good. First of all…they get to know when they are going to die. I don’t know that if given a choice I would WANT to know, but it does have its advantages. You get to make all of your amends before you go. You stop stressing about the little stuff. Do you think anyone on death row is worried about wrinkles or cellulite or material possessions? At least for a small portion of their life, everything is in perspective. Some people go their whole life having it all wrong and never knowing what truly matters. Also, when you are on death row, you know that you aren’t going to die a horrific, painful, gruesome death(although some of them deserve to!) The electric chair or lethal injection are not FUN ways to go, but they sure beat, say, a plane crash or being mauled by a bear. And finally (and most importantly), you get to have your last meal before you go. You get to die with your belly stuffed full of whatever your heart desired. Some people die while on a diet….how bad would that suck? Just think about getting to pick your last meal. Having anything you want and as much of it. Calories certainly aren’t an issue. I know what mine would be without question. Pizza Hut thin crust cheese pizza, Blue Bell birthday cake ice cream, my mom’s pecan pie, Sonic’s cheese sticks, a doughnut from Krispy Kreme, Cafe East egg rolls, McDonald’s french fries and plenty of Corona to wash it all down. I mean seriously…would I rather die after eating all of that, or like die on my way home from work in a few minutes with nothing but cranberry juice in my belly?!?!