Bitch #16
How come every time I’m walking through the store or out in public somewhere and I smell a man’s cologne, the kind that makes you drool and brings visions of a sensitive, caring, sexy man with arms bigger than your head, perfectly defined abs and chiseled pecs, the kind that conjures up images of being wrapped up tightly in the arms of an Abercrombie-esque man, the kind that makes you weak in the knees just thinking of all of the possibilities of which Mr. Universe this smell is coming from….how come everytime you smell that cologne and turn around to meet the man of your dreams….you are met instead with a 5’4″, 360lb, balding with a comb-over, greasy, unattractive man with good cologne? There should be a stipulation on the cologne that the wearer must match the image that the cologne puts in our head. It just isn’t fair! Anything that smells so good should not be allowed on a man that looks that bad. I would rather you smell like a fish-fry like the rest of the nasty men out there like yourself…at least then your appearance and smell would go hand in hand. Quit playing with my head people!
This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 4th, 2007 at 4:04 pm and is filed under Bitching. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
December 4th, 2007 at 6:19 pm
ok who is this Abercombie guy anyway..is he a relative of that Armani dude or what…:):)
December 4th, 2007 at 7:13 pm
That’s funny!
I have a different reaction, I smell something other than clean air and I want to curb someones face in and send their organs to their parents… ughhh I hate the smell of perfume and cologne… makes my eyes run and I sneeze… specially when people bathe in it!! oh and shit, it’s so much worse when your on a bus or in a taxi with someone like that… ugh!!
Swany
http://www.Swany.cc/TravelMap
December 5th, 2007 at 10:28 am
“..you are met instead with a 5′4″, 360lb, balding with a comb-over, greasy, unattractive man with good cologne..”
Are you saying I have good cologne? Thank you!
And may I say that you could wear a dead fish and you’d still be hot.
..but don’t do that. You’d smell like me when the cologne wears off.
December 5th, 2007 at 10:30 am
I’m w/ you, the let down is great. I have another scenario too though, turning to see the man w/ the arms as big as your head, the eyes you could lose yourself in and a body you just want to crawl all over – only to find, he likes his men that way too. More power to them, but it doesn’t do me any good !
Monique
December 5th, 2007 at 11:53 am
oh, don’t be so hard on the little guy…the smell is all he has!
December 5th, 2007 at 12:31 pm
mmmm …
who is he ?? :d
December 5th, 2007 at 1:13 pm
Very Funny!! And I agree 100%!!
Take care!
Nice Site by the way!!
~Jen
December 5th, 2007 at 1:49 pm
Hi,
Hey, I’m not 5’4″! Ha Ha. Actually, I’m more of an AXE body spray kind of guy…no comb over…all my hair. Funny post. Have a great day. -Mike.
December 5th, 2007 at 5:59 pm
I can see how that can be disappointing, but it could be worse. You could find yourself stuck in an enclosed space (like an elevator) with a the man of your dreams, who smells absolutely ghastly.
December 6th, 2007 at 1:23 pm
hi! i’m just intrigued with ur profile… r u a bitch, a lesbian or both? from the soudn of u in your post, ur one very hot girl… no offense meant… i love ur blog
December 7th, 2007 at 4:01 am
hmmm I’m sad cause I can’t smell that good. I always have to guess if my body smells good in public. Showering frequently and clean clothes always soothes my mind and a quick spray of Axe. If you smell good and ask if you smell good my answer is always a yes by the way so if you stink I wouldn’t recommend my opinion. Chea!
December 8th, 2007 at 5:57 am
Fatty to Clerk: Excuse me ma’am, I’d like to purchase a bottle of this cologne.
Clerk to Fatty: No dice, fatty.
Why is it that every time I am out, and I smell a woman’s perfume – the kind that makes my mouth water, my pants tighten, brings forth freaky-deeky visions of multiple women with breasts bigger than your head, booties that make you cry, covered in cool-whip and chocolate syrup, fighting over me, screaming my name, …wait, what was this post about? I need a girlfriend =x
March 11th, 2010 at 5:10 am
Hi webmaster – This is by far the best looking site I’ve seen. It was completely easy to navigate and it was easy to look for the information I needed. Fantastic layout and great content! Every site should have that. Awesome job