July 18th, 2008
Well this bitch is hitting the pavement August 31st. You crazy kids should check this out.
Day 1 of training:
Seeing that I have only been doing cardio tapes and weights for the last few months, last night’s run was very interesting. I was dead after 2 miles, wanted to barf, AND managed to burn my cheeks and nose. Who’s idea was it to make track pavement black? That shit is HOT!
44 days til hell…hope some of you guys find it in you to suffer with me.
July 17th, 2008
These two should never be mixed…unless you are metro-sexual. I really would only listen to fashion advise from another woman or a gay man. If a straight man tells you one day you dress like a 40 year old, the next a 15 year old, and another your age, what are you suppose think? Several thoughts pop into my head.
-He’s giving you a complement
- He’s attempting to insult you (great burn there, big guy)
-He wishes he could be more like you (closet gay man)
-He wishes his wife could dress like you (please see first thought)
Men struggle with matching. I could walk down the hall at work and see dozens of guys sporting a brown belt with black shoes. Or wearing pin stripe pants with a printed top (very disturbing). Guys also wears jeans or khaki shorts 4 to 5 times before washing. Some, I hate to admit it, still wear clip on ties. That being said…guys have NO room to categorize my outfits. The only comments a guy should say are “You look good honey.” or “Wow, you look stunning!” Men should just stick with shooting guns and watching sports…leave the “looking good” part up to us.
July 16th, 2008
Listen here Brett Favre. When you said last year that you were done, that should have been it. None of this “itch” talk. The Packers have made it clear that they don’t want you back. You are an old man now. Ok, really you are only 38, but in football year you are a senior citizen. What ever happened to going out at the top? Why do people insist on playing until their last years and thus the lasting impression of them is terrible. Go out while you are on top! That way all people will have to remember about you were your “glory” years, not your “glory” years followed by your “man he should have retired already” year. You have already made your millions, earned your place in football history, and the only memories people will have of you is you playing at your best. Retiring is not so bad! But the worst kind of retiring is the retracting kind…”I’m done, no wait I’m not.” “I quit, no wait I don’t” You said you were done and wouldn’t be able to give it 100% anymore…so be DONE.
July 16th, 2008
I was reminiscing about the days when I worked in a retail store. It was a fitness store that catered to women. I liked my job….for the most part. We got to wear what we sold in the store so I got to wear yoga pants and running shoes. Since we were a pretty new store, foot traffic wasn’t too bad. What was bad….were the customers. High maintenance, stay at home, fake breasted bitches. Being that our store was big on customer service, I had to smile and act like these whores were my BFFs. Oh, let me offer you a bottle of water while you sit here and I become your slave. Oh, you don’t like this shoe? These pants are too small? Then why in the hell did you make me go to the back and dig through every single size to find you the one that doesn’t fit? You would like to speak to the manager? Well, listen lady, I am the manager.
I have a new found respect for retail store managers.
July 15th, 2008
A conversation between me and an anonymous state trooper.
Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: NO.
Cop: You were driving with your brights on.
Me: I know. This is a county road.
Cop: But it’s common courtesy to dim your lights while passing.
Me: Yeah well it’s deer season and I don’t want antler coming through my windshield.
Cop: You know I have to write you up for this.
Me: You know once you drive off I’m putting my brights back on.
Apparently he’s never lived in the boonies before….